Growing up

Growing up sucks! I just turned 20... And it has fucked me up lol. My emotions are crazy. Of course how can a birthday do that? Easily. Becoming an adult is difficult. I'm trying to find my place in the world and find that certain lil comfort spot where I'm comfortable with who I am, where I am proud of who I am. I used to be very proud of who I am and used to know who I was. Now, not so much. I feel like I have a lot to prove to my father, who has maybe told me he's proud of me once, which was when I graduated high school. But I had to hear how I better graduate and not fuck up, when I only needed 4 credits to graduate. Anyway. So I guess I have to constant battle within myself that I'm not aware of to always prove myself. Things are getting better now. Life has been pretty rough the past like forever months but now things are slowly piecing back together. I have this amazing man who I can't live without, but he has someone trying to ruin his life.
I like to think I have it all together upstairs lol when I know thats not always the case. My emotions have calmed down a bit because I'm trying to make changes within myself to be a better person and a better woman above all things. I think I'm getting there. Making progress at least :D
So I haven't really had any good topics to write about lately, so please give me suggestions lol I want to write just am too boring haha, plus have been busy with work. I have to say I have the coolest job ever. I work at home on a computer and get paid over 10 bucks an hour to take chats all day lol pretty easy. Except working with idiots lol *facedesk* which I am doing now so its tah tah for now! Take it easy

Sarah ♫♪

Pandora.com

Well, I have to say, I had heard of this site but never went there, but finally did and I have to say it fucking rocks. I entered 3 bands, Evanescence, Slipknot, and 10 years and loved just about every song its played. It's like listening to my own playlist, but its making it for me haha. I tried to add the widget but I guess its broken :( Oh well, there is a little button to the left that will launch pandora from here, if only I could get some My Dead X, Rook, or Congress of a Crow to play on it ;)

Well, take it easy!
♫♪ Sarah ♫♪

Short Update

So after my previous rant, its time to move on to other happier things like... our new place! wOoT! Hubs and are officially moved into our new, bigger place. There are still boxes in the floor and nothing on the walls so we have a lil ways to go before it looks like home, but we'll get there. I'm not sure how I want to decorate everything yet tho. We have a HUGE balcony. I can't wait to get some chairs for it. I don't know yet about how I'm going to decorate the livingroom or the bedroom. So we'll see. I will post some pictures of the new place once it looks like a home. So I went to my mom's doctor appointment today, and learned how much my mom and I are really alike, even psychologically. It was really weird. I also weighed myself. I weigh 107... my license says I weigh 131 lol I thought I lost like 10 pounds, not 24. But anyway, I'm starting work so I'll write more some other time lol.

New World Order

WATCH THESE VIDEOS!! If you're not involved in politics, please atleast watch these. Do you want to have a New World Order, the world under one government?

*ATLEAST WATCH THE VERY FIRST!*



The above clip is from the movie Zeitgeist, which will explain SO much about what is going and and basically what they don't want us to know. Check out the link to ther right! --->





Do you want to have a North American Union, where Canada, Mexico, and U.S.A become one country and we drop borders... Well guess what, its happening.



Do you want to get rid of our currency? And share an Amero w/ Mexico and Canada... Well, thats happening too.



This shit is getting fucked up, we need to educate ourselves, and wake up to whats being done behind our backs, and without our knowledge. Who doesn't want New world Order?





There is whats called a write in vote where you can write in the name of someone other than Obama or McCain. And now I'm going to write in Ron Paul. He would be the best thing for this country. Who cares if he's republican, he stands of for some good things. Research him on google and youtube. We need to be more aware of whats going on in our country.

I love photography, I have a really crappy digital camera I 'try' to take pictures with. I love photoshop and taking a picture and creating the way I want or just fuckin around w/ all the different things you can do in photoshop. I thought I would show off some of my extremely amateur work.

Thats it for now, I wish I had time to take more pictures and really wish I had a better camera.

The Message

Love and Marriage

I have been thinking a lot lately about marriage. My boyfriend and I have talked about getting married, recently I have thought to myself, what exactly is marriage?

mar·riage

1.	the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

2.	the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.

3.	the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.

4.	a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage.

5.	any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song.

6.	a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger.

7.	a blending or matching of different elements or components: The new lipstick is a beautiful marriage of fragrance and texture.

8.	Cards. a meld of the king and queen of a suit, as in pinochle.

9.	a piece of antique furniture assembled from components of two or more authentic pieces.

10.	Obsolete. the formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock.

People get married because they are in love right? But... the definition of marriage doesn't even have the word LOVE in it...
So I met this guy right, and shortly after we started seeing each other, I knew I wanted to marry him. Him being previously married, is in no rush, which I COMPLETELY understand. However, for me, its not about being married. I no longer have a desire to get married.

For me its the wedding and the symbolism of it. I want to be surrounded by close friends and family and just celebrate us, our love, and life together. I want to be given away by my father and put in the care of my man. I want to stand in front of everyone I care about and show them that I have met the man of my dreams, and the man I want to spend forever with. Signing a marriage certificate isn't important to me, people I love being happy for me, is. I don't care about wedding gifts, I want everyone to come and have a great time. So I'm not wanting to get married, or have a wedding. I want a reception lol with a small speech, and people having fun and being happy for US.

Zeitgeist

I watched a fucking awesome documentary last night. It's about the truth. The truth of our government and things that they don't want us to know. The best part was part 2, about 9-11. A horrible tragedy... planned? I apologize for anyone offended. Its information that we all need to know, and we need to realize the truth and quit believing the bullshit they feed us on the news. We're about to electing a new president but news stations and reporters think that talkin about Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton should be our top stories. Here is a reporter standing up for the fact that the top stories they want to report are bullshit.
Lets talk about the real reason we are in Iraq, lets talk about our presidential candidates so we don't elect a fucking failure to run our country.
After watching this documentary, I don't want to raise my children in this country. My patriotism has been shot. And I'm ready to move to Australia lol. So please watch the entire thing, I know its long, but well fucking worth it.

What a BITCH!

This is fucked up!! click the title for the link to the story. But this teacher let her class 1 by 1 say what they didn't like about this 5 yr old little boy in the middle of the class, and then she actually took a vote and he was voted out of the class basically. I'd be in jail for assault if anyone had the ignorance to do something like that to my kid, especially if they are 5! And to top it off the kid also has been going thru tests for a type of autism. OMG I'd have her fired, or in a hospital.